Ramblings from the Exhausted

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Sometimes running, sleeping, or trying won’t get it. Sometimes what you’re waiting on will on come in its own time. So I sit at this keyboard and let whatever it is come…

Some of us have lived an entire life with a war going on inside. A war between perception, reality, and lies. If we’re lucky, we get the appropriate treatment and we learn to be better than ever before. Now that war could be emotional turmoil, anxiety or any number of silent killers. Once treated the casualties of emotional warfare are drastically reduced, but the physical exhaustion is ever present.

Imagine how tired you would be after running a marathon. Now imagine you forget you ran a marathon. How do you feel? Exhausted, fatigued, dehydrated, achy? That’s how it can feel when you’re dealing with all the emotional frenzy and that no one else can see. The restlessness and exhaustion catches up with us, when there has been no evidence of battle for so long. The war becomes silent, but the thoughts that cut still cut, the insecurities explode like grenades. I imagine it plays like a black and white World War II battle film. And when we’re exhausted from doing life so damn well, we remember that war. There’s no proverbial body count to speak of, but there is the feeling that you’ve been running for your life through a mine field. Now there’s no way to actually tell if this makes sense…in fact, I’m fairly certain my rational friends would agree that it does not and yes I know frankly, it’s a littlescary…but, I don’t care. That’s what it feels like sometimes.

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